It is not how we handle success, but how we deal with failure that makes stronger. When you are strong enough to look at defeat as a learning experience, not only will you gain confidence in yourself and your abilities, but you will be able to re-focus quicker and stay in the moment longer. So here are 5 things that you can do to start losing and start learning:

(1)    Understand that no moment is bigger than the next

When we step into what we may consider a ‘Big Moment,’ we are automatically putting undo pressure on ourselves. When the majority of people try to ‘get up’ for a moment, their body is tenser, their heart rate rises, and they get away from living in the moment. That is why learners understand that each moment is important, and no moment is bigger than the next. No big speech, no hype music, or anything like that is needed to know that you need to be focused, relaxed, and focusing right then in that moment in order to be successful. Because you do it all the time.

(2)    Don’t overthink

One of the most frequent excuses you hear from people who fail is that they overthink. To be a learner and not a loser is to be aware of how you are thinking in that moment and focus on the specific task in front of us. What is the task that you need to accomplish? What do you need to do, specifically, in order to make this work? Learners remember the KIS Method: Keep It Simple.

(3)    Remember your training

If something matters to you, it is more than likely that you have trained for that moment. Whether it is the hours in the batting cage, or time spent in front of a mirror practicing your big presentation – you have done the work to do what you need to do. Learners gain confidence from their preparation, and if they fail – they know they have to go train more or make changes in their preparation. Don’t be a victim to lack of preparation - once you put in the work, believe in yourself and get it done.

(4)    Communicate with Confidence

It is because of their preparation that learners communicate with confidence. They stand tall with good posture, have positive self-talk [based on their training], and communicate positively with their teammates or co-workers. Communicating with confidence not only will improve your performance, but it will be infectious to those around you.

(5)    NEVER, EVER, feel sorry for yourself

When a learner fails, the last thing that they do is hang their head, go into a corner, and feel sorry for themselves. They understand that these actions do not help. It may feel good for a second to sulk, but in the long run, the best thing to do after failure is to have an honest conversation with yourself. ‘Did I do the right things just now?’ ‘What am I going to do the next time I get a chance like that?’ Learners understand that asking themselves this will not only help them perform better the next time out, but will prevent unnecessary sulking and self-doubt.

 So now, ask yourself – would you say that you are a learner or a loser? If the answer is the latter, don’t worry about it – now is the time to take responsibility for how you are acting and make changes to how you deal during times of pressure. Remember: Be prepared and trust in the work you have done. Then evaluate and make a commitment to yourself to be better when the next opportunity comes around.

For more information on Achievement Consulting and how we can help you be at your best, check out our website at, and feel free to email me at any time at